Retirement speech.
What to say.

Thirty years ago, [name] walked in here not knowing any of us. We have been making up for that ever since.

[Name] has seen four chief executives, two office moves, and one catastrophic Christmas party. They outlasted all of them.

There are people who made this place better. [Name] is one of them, and they are leaving, which tells you everything about their judgment.

When [name] started here, the printer worked. Draw your own conclusions.

The thing about [name] is that they were good at the job and decent about it, which is rarer than it should be.

[Name] never once made a junior feel stupid for asking. That is the bit I will still be quoting in ten years.

Every team has one person who knows where everything is and why. [Name] is ours, and frankly we have not thought this through.

They turned up, did the work, and made the rest of us want to as well. Simple as that.

[Name] covered for half this room at least once and never mentioned it. Today we mention it.

We will replace the role. We will not replace [name]. Good luck trying.

The inbox will keep arriving. The difference is [name] will not be there to deal with it, so let us all take a moment.

Enjoy the retirement. The crossword, the garden, the long lunch. You have earned the lot.

Go and do the thing you kept saying you'd do when you had time. You have time.

From all of us: thank you, well done, and please do not check your email.

You kept this place honest. We will try to manage without you.

Thirty years and counting out loud. Go and enjoy the quiet.

We all knew this day was coming. We just hoped it would not be quite yet.

The desk will be strange without you. The biscuit drawer especially.

Thank you for the years. The kettle is on all day now, and so it should be.